Here are Five Keys to being a Great Lover:
- Listen. Think about how you listen. Most people listen just enough to construct a reply. If you want to be a great LOVER, then listen with all your heart. This means developing an interested, accepting attitude. You don’t have to agree, but it will build good feeling to accept what your partner is saying.
- Offer an apology. Good LOVERs know how and when to apologize. Taking ownership when your words or deeds have created pain is a sign of emotional maturity. It is even possible to be apologetic without being wrong.
- Validate. Unless you are with someone who is completely out of touch with reality, your partner is probably making some valid points when he or she is upset. LOVERs try to see the validity in their partner’s position, for the good of the relationship.
- Embrace. LOVERs create a spirit of welcome, with open arms, physically and emotionally. LOVERs are huggers! LOVERs accept their partner’s invitations to touch, caress, and snuggle. Affection and sex are different ways of enjoying love, and both are vital to a good relationship.
- Repair. Contrary to popular belief, conflict is not harmful to relationships. The harm is done by neglecting to repair the resulting damage. LOVERs know that no matter how hard it might be, it’s better to make up than to ignore the tension of unresolved conflict or hurt feelings.
