If you want marriage counseling but your partner doesn’t want to go, here are 10 things to say to get them to try it.
1. “Just come with me for one session and see what you think.” Make sure your partner knows you will understand if, after one session, they don’t want to go back.
2. “We won’t have to keep going forever.” Because it is effective, marriage counseling tends to be short-term, often with fewer than 12 sessions needed to get good results. Let your partner know you won’t drag it out forever. Related content: effectiveness page
3. “If you don’t like the therapist, we can always find another one.” Each therapist is different. Let your partner know if they don’t like the therapist, you can keep looking until you find one you both like.
4. “It doesn’t have to be expensive.” Marriage counseling is often covered by insurance or flexible spending accounts. Let your partner know you’ll handle insurance paperwork and set an upper limit on out-of-pocket costs.
5. “It would mean a lot to me.” Explain how you would feel if your partner gave marriage counseling a try. Express gratitude at the thought they’d even being willing to consider it.
6. “It will help our relationship.” Without blaming, share your goals for marriage counseling. Perhaps you would like to communicate better, feel closer, or rediscover your passion for each other. Ask about the goals your partner might have for marriage counseling.
7. “I want to be a better partner.” Let your partner know you won’t use counseling to show why everything is their fault. Explain why you think marriage counseling will help you take responsibility for your part in the problems.
8. “I want you to have a voice, too.” There are two sides to every story. In marriage counseling, the therapist listens to both partners. Let your partner know you want the therapist to hear their side of things.
9. “I want our relationship to last forever.” Let your partner know that marriage counseling is not a sign that the end is near. To the contrary, explain why you think that understanding the problems will make your relationship more resilient.
10. “I’ll handle the details.” Your partner may worry about having to handle the nuts and bolts of counseling. Let them know you’ll do the scheduling, billing, insurance paperwork, etc.
Soothing your partner’s concerns about marriage counseling will go a long way toward motivating them to try it out. If you want more guidance on how to approach your partner, contact us for a free consultation.